Hello. My name is Marjorie. I am not 65 and I am not on Medicare. I am a single mother
that made a terrible mistake that has ruined the life of my best friend and the father
of my children. I had a daughter by my best friend while living in Virginia. As we were
not married, his name was not put on the birth certificate and the baby was given my
last name. While we were living together, he helped in all aspects of our daughter’s
life. When I became pregnant for a second time, things began to fall apart. My friend
became sick and could not work for a while. I could not handle the stress and returned
to Georgia. I had little contact with him.
I had a son and again did not list him as the father. During the time we were in
Virginia, I obtained a custody and child support order. Not knowing anything about how
to handle such matters, I trusted DHR and signed everything they asked me to sign. That
was a big mistake.
I had a son and again did not list him as the father. During the time we were in
Virginia, I obtained a custody and child support order. Not knowing anything about how
to handle such matters, I trusted DHR and signed everything they asked me to sign. That
was a big mistake.
In Georgia, I also obtained a custody and child support order. My friend had signed
statement in Virginia agreeing that he was the father of both children. When the support
payments stopped, I tried to find out why. I could not make contact with him. I later
heard from him and was told that he had been sick again and could not work for a while.
I work every day and let myself fall into the habit of staying with my parents. After the
support payments stopped, I was coerced by my mother into filing a criminal non-support
warrent. I did not fully understand what this would mean. I only thought it would allow
him to begin making payments at that time. Boy was I wrong!
My friend had finally gotten able to work again. Once the warrant was filed, he was
fired from 3 different jobs because the warrant showed up in his background check. I
found out during this time that not only was he suffering from lupus (a serious disease)
but had spent nearly 3 months in the hospital with a brain tumor!
There was no possible way he could have paid the ordered amount of support. I tried to
get the district attorney to allow me to drop the charges but he refused. He said that
he was going to extradite him back to Georgia and let the deadbeat dad sit in jail until
the arrearage was paid!
I never intended for this to happen. I filed this charge without knowing the full story
and without knowing what the outcome would be for him. I have destroyed his life without
ever intending to do that. I only wanted him to pay support and to have a relationship
with his children. Being a naturalized American citizen, this warrant could jeopardize
his ability to remain in America.
After contacting ALFRA, a member met with me and listened to my story. She was very
sympathetic and caring. She told me that ALFRA could not offer legal advice but could
help with moral support. She showed me how to organize all my court papers (I had them
stuck in a paper bag) and told me to always read before signing.
I went back and discovered that my court order from Virginia required my friend to pay
support for our daughter all of her life as "she has a mental and physical disorder
requiring her to have constant care". This is not true!!! She is very intelligent and
has no physical handicap! This same order also included an area where I could have
changed her last name on her birth certificate and list him as the father. I did not
know about this and it was never mentioned to me. Please---read your papers before
signing and always find out the whole story before beginning any type of legal action.
If I had done these two simple things. I could have spared my best friend a lifetime of
grief and troubles.
I still do not know what the outcome will be on the non-support warrant. I am still
begging the DA to allow me to drop the charges. I want my children to know, love and
have a relationship with their father. He loves them and would have been with them as
much as possible had he not been so ill.
Thank you ALFRA for all your efforts. You really do have "the best interest of the
child" at heart. As you can tell by my story, I do not live in Alabama. I found that
this group has members living in different states. Child support and custody, I found
out, is not just an Alabama problem but exists in every place in the world. I thank God
everyday that I read that newspaper article about ALFRA and made that call.
Marjorie
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