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Another Woman's Child
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On march 15, 1989, I became introduced to a completely foreign subject --
stepdaughter. Can you believe a grown woman could be ALFRAid of a 9 year old
child? I was terrified that she would not like me. This should have been the last
of my worries. This loving child would become as much a part of me as if I had
given birth to her. So what was the problem.... the "real" mother. She was so
jealous of the fact that her daughter responded to me with both love and affection,
that this vindictive mother chose to take out her jealousy in the form of harassment.
Suddenly, we were confronted with countless expensive court appearances, harassing
phone calls to our employers and as well as to ourselves (we finally had the phone
disconnected). She even chose to tell her daughter "not to do anything" I told her.
This type of action continued for several years until we had a "belly full" and
filed for custody. At that point we were suddenly faced with charges of kidnapping,
interference with custody and even grand theft auto because her daughter drove a car
bought for her to drive to school to our house. After we were given custody
things settled down a little bit. We were denied child support from the mother as
the court said it is a fathers place to support the children. Why is this titled
"another woman's child"? Simple---as much as I love my stepdaughter and as much as
she loves me, she has a real mother and this must be respected. A step-family can
be a source of joy, as mine has, but I had to realize that both parents need to work
together and not try to keep a new relationship from forming with the stepparent.
My step daughter is now 19 and living on her own. She maintains a loving relationship
with us as well as a separate relationship with her mother and stepfather. If all
parents and stepparents would work together instead of fighting each other, a lot of
problems we are facing today with our children could be partially avoided. Would I
do it over again? You bet your life I would!
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